Why is it so hard to forgive if harboring anger hurts you more than holding onto it? I have always thought of myself as one who can forgive easily and does not hold grudges. I couldn't understand why some people couldn't let things go. I would hold my head up high thinking of how great I was because I was a "forgiver". Never putting words to my inner feelings, I would often think..."God must be so proud of me." Pride, what an ugly thing.
As I slowly emerge out of the desert I have been in, I find myself struggling with forgiveness. My tongue has become a stumbling block as I lash out with hateful words toward those who have hurt me so deeply over the years. It saddens me as I sit here and think about how I have sunk to an embarrassing level of pride. I have never given God credit for giving me the power to forgive. Forgiveness is not in my human nature. I struggle just like everyone else.
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